life can be quite the prickly bitch, that just tries to tear everything down that I’ve worked so damn hard for. Wouldn’t it be nice if once you got better, that’s it, no more work, you could just stay in a great place for the rest of your life and nothing would ever go wrong… yeah that would be fan-fucking-tastic, but it’s not the case, life goes on and shit happens whether you like it or not. Here is the time where people show their true colors, when shit hits the fan, what will you do? Will you bend over and let life fuck the shit out of you, or will you fight back, will you stand and take the higher road filled with tough decisions and things that you don’t want to do that will ultimately lead to greatness? Yeah it’s a hell of a lot harder to face that shit and keep going than it is to let it get the best of you. But let me tell you from someone who has done a lot of bending over (metaphorically speaking) it fucking sucks! And it doesn’t get better, its only when I stood up and grabbed life by the balls and did the shit that I didn’t want to do that things started to look up.
Like I said before it’s not an easy thing to do, but there is something to be said about when you stand up and look at all the bullshit, the crippling fear, the lack of self-esteem, the seemingly endless delusions, the self-pity!, let me say it again, the self-pity! And for the first time not be paralyzed by it, but instead be empowered to change that shit, because of doing this I have allowed myself to feel good about my life and for the first time I feel accomplished, like I’ve done something that’s actually worth a fuck. I’ve been asked a lot over the past few years, that if I could go back would I have changed anything, made a fresh start and not have to deal with anything I had to go through. For a while I would have said yes, because that shit weighed down on my and I never thought that it would let up, and now I know that if I didn’t go through and overcome what I did, I wouldn’t be the same person I a today, so no! I wouldn’t change a fucking thing.